After long absence

It's hard to believe it's been nine months since I last checked in, and that this is my first post in all of 2015. That's profoundly frustrating, especially since I expected to post every few days back when I first set up this blog.

In the intervening months, my libido has become significantly more obscura. I'm not sure why, but the bupropion side effects have turned it up to eleven. I can't pinpoint when this exactly happened, but I strongly suspect the advent of summer is a contributing factor. For a number of reasons I won't go into here, my Friday morning fucks with Legs went on hold. Mentally, I always looked forward to them but physically my body was blase until my semi-flaccid cock is rubbing against her labia. I grows steadily firmer until I can force it in, and then it's off to the races. Lustful desire is absolutely not a problem once I'm inside her, but otherwise, meh. I believe those regular Fridays stimulated my body chemistry in such a way that prevented my libido from flat lining entirely. When those Friday rendezvous ended, so did the last vestiges of my desire. June through August, we only averaged 2-3 times a month, and went close to five weeks once before Legs forced me down on the couch one afternoon, pulled down my pants and rode me hard and fast. Sadly, I didn't come, and went limp immediately following her orgasm.

I can't blame it all on summer, however. Looking at my calendar (yes, I've been keeping track since going on bupropion) I see that we only did it on Fridays through the month of May. So something was up even then.

It's not like I don't think about sex. I do think about it, maybe not as much as I did two years ago, but it's still one of my favorite subjects. But only rarely do I get excited by my own daydreams, and erections simply don't happen on their own. I doesn't help much that Legs' own libido has always been an order of magnitude below mine. I've always teased her that sexually, she's got a body like a Ferrari that she only ever drives around the block a couple times a month. Rarely does she venture onto the open road and just turn it loose. But at least she still likes those trips around the block, otherwise we wouldn't even have had those few times this summer that we did.

The thing is, sex just doesn't seem worth the effort anymore. Today was one of the rare days where I didn't have to go in to work, and a couple of times throughout the day, as she took a break from her work, I thought "This would be a good time to rip off her clothes." Goodness knows she wouldn't have objected. But that would've involved me stopping what I was doing, getting up and going across the house, then actually undressing her... it just seemed like too much work. Crazy, right?

So I've spoken with my physician, and we've cut my bupropion prescription by a third. That's been a month now, and I haven't felt any kind of return of the dysphoria that was the cause of all this in the first place. But I haven't felt any kind of return of my libido, either. In a few months, if I maintain stability with the current reduced dosage, we'll reduce it again. Eventually, if all goes well, I can get off it entirely. Or my libido returns, whichever comes first.

Oh, and our Friday Funtime is back. Maybe having Legs' magic pussy jump-starting my cock every Friday will be the boost I need to carry me into the following week. I certainly hope so, because I sincerely miss having desire.